I can understand a guy complaining about his marriage to another guy friend, over a couple. of beers, but dick shots and complaints about you to another woman and comments such as "If I were with you instead..." I see no silver lining here. I see a jerk who does not love you, is in love with another woman, and is with you for convenience and money. I would have given him the boot. There needs to be a bond of trust in a marriage, that once broken, will always remain a weakness no matter how hard you work to repair, patch it up, gloss it over and tell each other you've moved past it. It will always be there.